🌱 Fully ON, fully OFF

The skill I'm worst at, and three tools helping me practice it.

I used to be obsessed with chasing “flow” states.

But then I realized I just wasn’t working on anything I was that interested in.

The real hack turned out to be simpler… find things you actually like.

I'm now onto the next piece, the one I'm worse at. The ability to turn off.

Here’s your 3 insights in 3 minutes.

Flow states run in a cycle:

Struggle → Release → Flow → Recover

Everyone jumps straight to the flow part and skips the recovery. (Guilty!)

Even my “breaks” are usually me anticipating the next tasks instead of actually resting.

A racecar driver pits before the tank is empty, not after. But the rest of us laptop drivers, weirdly, tend to neglect the pit stop.

The deeper fix is rethinking our idea of “balance.”

Most interpret balance as doing multiple things at 50%. However, the people who perform best go all the way on, then all the way off.

Yet still many of us can get caught humming along at a permanent 60% with 15 tabs open trying to “balance” 3 things at once...

The paradox is that turning all the way off and actually recovering, makes it easier to turn it all the way on.

So I am practicing the off switch. The art of doing, well, nothing.

Going for a walk and NOT listening to a podcast. Or leaving the phone at home.

While I haven’t left the phone at home yet, I have stopped bringing it with me to the bathroom.

And a few months ago I moved my charger from next to my bed to across the room.

Small change, huge impact on my ability to turn off.

Going all the way has a catch.

The first stretch can be a STRUGGLE.

It’s the exact moment the urge shows up... To open twitter, check the phone, literally anything but the task at hand.

But much research (and personal experience) shows that white-knuckling GRIND mode isn’t nearly as effective as a delay.

Instead of telling the urge no or judging myself for having it, I acknowledge it and say “yes, but not right now.”

So sure, I can scroll twitter. Just not right now, give it 10 minutes.

The idea of “urge surfing” is a mindfulness technique from psychologist Alan Marlatt originally stemming from addiction research.

Okay so after we got all the way turnt up… it’s time to turn off.

Aka non-sleep deep rest (NSDR), for those who speak Huberman.

I’ll be real here, I’m still very much figuring this one out.

Aside from meditation, it’s hard for me to just flip a switch and relax on command.

But one thing that has been helpful is checking in with how I’m feeling first.

This Mood Meter makes it easy.

I just think to myself:

Developed by Dr. Marc Brackett, director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, it maps out emotions on a grid of feeling and energy.

The main idea is to just check in, not judge any of the feelings.

For whatever reason it’s been a useful first step for me to then actually turn off and rest.

Salud,
Mitchell